That's Jokes

[Finn666]

@RocknRoll:

Here is another bad one. I like bad jokes.

A man walks into a bar and sees a fat woman dancing on the table.

"Nice legs" he says, glancing in her direction.

"You think so?" the woman asks, looking quite pleased.

"Sure" says the guy, "most tables would have collapsed by now".

this shit is funny

[Giles]

America are sending out a crack unit to help find the kidnapped school girls in Nigeria.  Britain are sending Stuart Hall, Rolf Harris, Max Clifford and Dave Lee Travis

[Megatron1505]

Bwahahahahahahahaha

[Giles]

I thought you'd like that one…...

[EastWest]

^
Man walks into a bar (pub)….......ouch!!

[Megatron1505]

If it's inappropriate and likely to cause offence…...I'm there 

[Megatron1505]

[Cutlasshound]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[riffblaster general]

[Giles]

[madmonday]

thought clever & made me chuckle, pretty sure it's quoted from Harold:

"I've often been asked: What do you do now that you're retired."

Harold answers:

"Well… I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whiskey into urine. It's rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling. I do it every day and I really enjoy it."

[madmonday]

Had someone email me about a best price on an item & as I thought the item was priced pretty fair as it is I increased the price by $25 for my best offer.

What? I thought it funny

[Snowy]

^I'm sure the recipient was blown away but that confusing, but very kind logic ::).

[Giles]

[Seul]

My kinda humour…

[Finkster]

[4c]

What do you call someone who doesn't give or even have a feck?…  Feckless.

[BloodnThunder]

A guy walks into a bar looking frantic and in a hurry.  He says, "bartender, quick, pour me 5 shots".  Bartender grabs a bottle and pours out 5 shots side-by-side on the bar.  The guy quickly starts pounding the shots.

Bartender - "Geez!  Slow down buddy they're not going anywhere."

Guy - "You'd be in a hurry too if you had what I've got!"

Bartender - "Sounds pretty bad.  What have you got?"

Guy - "About 5 cents"

[Dion]

[Jett129]

An old married couple are sitting around and the husband says "Can you think of something that would make me happy and sad at the same time?" The wife thinks for a second and says "Yeah, Your brothers dick is smaller than yours"